MUSIC TO RIDE OUT THE APOCALYPSE... IN REVIEW FORM!

It's likely Monday as you're reading this and I know what you all are getting up to today.  But hey, we all have some extra time on our hands lately, right?  So you all do you.  On my end?  Well, not smoking the devil's lettuce.  But I have compiled some writings on new/recent music that you may be interested in.  So check it out!  It's not like you don't need a distraction from anxiety, misery, or other worldly weirdness.  And hey, if you're one of the lucky people with some extra gov't cheddar who also are still able to pay rent maybe some of these artists below would appreciate a little bit thrown their way!

BITTER BRANCHES, “This May Hurt a Bit” EP

This is a really weird juxtoposition.  Imagine taking D-FENS from “Falling Down” and dropping him into the middle of the Captain Chaos scene of “The Cannonball Run”.  Sure, it might make for some unique results, but it doesn’t exactly fit.  Here we have a project of older hardcore dudes playing a style of post-hardcore akin to bands whose entire discographies are relegated to split 7”s with glued-together covers and handwritten inserts.  And the frontman of this group is none other than Tim Singer, known for such emo-centric lyrics as, “you can’t kill yourself because you’re already dead.”  So, on here with Bitter Branches, Tim Singer is still doing Tim Singer- working out his frustrations, arguing with himself after 12 espressos, a nervous tick, and punching a bus driver- and then the rest of the band, who are trying to find that perfect link between old UOA records and early Boy Sets Fire.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy this.  It’s just a weird mix and doesn’t exactly gel considering the resumes of the members involved.  I’m really liking the bouncy stop-start riff from “Her Disease” though, that’s a keeper. (self-released)

EYE FLYS, “Tub Of Lard”

On Eye Flys initial outing their wink-wink, nod-nods to their influences were about as blatant as a Gallagher magic trick involving watermelons.  I thought it was a little too on the nose, even if they did have some serious riffage oozing out of their filthy pores.  I’d like to think that Eye Flys have grown a bit here, much in the same way that sonic brethren Wrong have evolved past mere Helmet worship and now do… well, they do Helmet worship with some tricks of their own making it a unique experience (at least to me).  Eye Flys are on a similar track.  There’s not a whole lot of nuance to their game.  It’s all about instant gratification that comes from overblown distortion on instruments delivering gigantic riffs and pulverizing beats.  It’s the same kind of sonic overload brought forth by groups like Fudge Tunnel (who seem to be a keen point of inspiration here), who equally throttled their instruments in search of that perfect hair-bending feedback.  Eye Flys manage to lay out exactly what the entire album sounds like within the first two songs- the title track, with it’s mid-tempo whiplash, and “Guillotine”, which manages to liquefy eardums with one sludgy riff and lots of guitar torture with a backbeat over two minutes.  (Thrill Jockey)

FED ASH, “Diurnal Traumas”

Various remnants of Syracuse’s Bleak and If Hope Dies gather in an abysmal pit to summon filthy grind with caveman sludge and ‘fight me’ vocals.  The result is Fed Ash and fuck you while we’re at it.  That’s what any person with a functioning amygdala would be saying after hearing this anyway.  Let’s be clear- this is not a pleasant listen.  It’s not meant to soothe you and should appeal the crust-grind-grouch inside you.  While relentless grind spasms tend to dominate this effort I find myself leaning more into the sludgy riffs and between-song noise patterns.  However, if this record were only those things I’d probably kind of shit on it.  The noise and sludge needs the grind, and the grind needs those other parts to make it all work.  Give the people some flavor is what I say.  I’m partial to the track “everythingallthetime”, even if the title sounds like it belongs to some emo sourpuss band.  Music for getting into a fight with a parking meter.  (Astralands)

KISSED BY AN ANIMAL, s/t LP

At this point in my life, reading a band bio is generally about as comfortable as reading condom instructions.  However, when your bio is as colorful and filled with neat artwork who really cares what it says right?  Equally as engaging is the exceptionally wild gatefold artwork for Kissed by An Animal (that’s the best band name they could come up with?) and their debut full length.  It’s an engaging listen chock full of power pop goodness made for sunny days either laying in your backyard (or on your roof), or playing fetch with your dog, who may or may not have doled out kisses and maybe that’s where the band got it’s name?  Do you like feel good power pop similar to baddies like Chisel, Teenage Cool Kids, or Dead Mechanical?  Well, meet your new baby daddy.  Expect large doses of average-whites-living-in-Brooklyn-lackadaisical-sweet vocals laid atop sturdy bass lines doing the heavy lifting, catchy guitar work alternating between clean riffing and the occasional slide, as well as some nice keys showing up for texture.  It works, it’s fun, and a delight to look at.  (Handstand Records)

MELKBELLY, “Pith”

I’m not sure if the cover is supposed to be some abstract sculpture, or what was left of a ten-foot hoagie after cubicle drone appreciation day over at the regional Liberty Mutual offices.  Bad cover art aside, Chicago’s Melkbelly have returned with a whopper of a second LP.  It’s so badass that if it were a teenager it would have a dust stache, wear a jean jacket with the sleeves torn off, and do donuts in the Grocery Outlet parking lot in a Camaro while simultaneously flipping off their boss and quitting their job.  The formula remains the same from their first LP, but everything is just stepped up a notch, and they have some new tricks up their collective sleeves here.  Picture, if you will, The Breeders with busy drumming, a bit more noisy flair, and occasional massive swells of noise, reverbed vocals, and feedback.  These cats can be fun (check the bouncy get-up of “LCR”), goopy emotional (“Humid Heart”), super dreamy (closing track “Flatness” is an airy ‘see ya later’), and still get weird and blow up your stereo (“Kissing Under Some Bats” spends it’s last three minutes continuously swirling and getting louder and louder until it consumes all within a mile radius).  There’s not a dud on the whole thing so take that as an official decree that this kicks butt.  (Wax Nine/ Carpark)

RID OF ME, “Summer” demo tape

Two members of Low Dose get together with another ex-member of Fight Amp to make a demos worth of material that sounds a lot like Low Dose.  I’m not one to complain because since that Low Lose record came out I’ve been wondering when their next effort would drop, but also…  I don’t see a whole lot of difference between that and this.  Take it as you will, because they’re straight up giving you 4 songs of grungy-noisy, punk rock glazed donuts for nothing.  So no griping you ritalin-addled whiners, just shut up and bang your head and smash a bottle on the floor. (Knife Hits)

STILL/FORM, s/t EP

Before they prematurely split up, Portland’s Marriage and Cancer had trimmed down to a trio, which worked really well for them in my opinion.  Their ear-bleeding loudness becoming stripped down and somehow heavier and promised great things to come.  Well, maybe guitarist/vocalist Robert Komets gained some insight from that because his new project Still/Form pushes sonic excess as a trio in ways that will murder your speakers.  That same feeling of unease between the guitars and raspy vocals that comes off like a tweaked out vagrant skulking filthy alleyways on a foggy night remains present in this new project, however I’d say where Marriage and Cancer displayed heaviness with cleaner guitars Still/Form gives a high-flying ‘fuck you’ to that notion and turns the distortion up to 11.  This sonic dirge, akin to a garbage compactor being used as a projectile against a hurricane, is most evident on the squealing guitars in “Hydrate” and the absolutely crushing “Just Adjust”.  One song harkens back to that unsettling clean style from M and C on “God Will Understand Why You’re Horny For Kids”, but- if the title is any indication- the lyrics are about as cringe-heavy as you can get.  Yikes.  Either way, this 5-song sonic leveler is an exceptional follow up to past projects and I’m really hoping this one takes off.  It’s a fucking crusher.  (self-released)

STUCK, “Change Is Bad”

Studio engineer types getting together as a band to record a perfect-sounding record is the fantasy equivalent to a horny teenager discovering he has self-lotioning palms.  In this case Chicago’s Stuck have gone through a box of Kleenex on their newest outing, if you get my drift.  They have taken their skills in the studio and applied it to their melodic, sometimes weird, punchy post-punk.  It’s an engaging affair that runs the gamut from tightly-wound moody minimalism ala My Disco, to off-kilter pop beauty reminiscent of Talking Heads, and then somewhere in the middle of more modern sounds that tie all that stuff together.  They were supposed to do a Spring tour with USA Nails (who I feel have a similar sound, albeit with more noise and chaos), but of course that shit got nixed.  Stuck are like a restrained version of that with a touch of XTC or similarly odd melodic thoughtfulness.  Jittery and wired, but somehow playing it cool.  It’s definitely a neat record, detail-oriented, and sonically pristine.  (self-released)